Missingness Kills You

Isnt it missingness kills you to the bones? Call out names but flows with the wind and you dont know where it gone? U just telling yourself it reach the place of wheres your heart given, but actually you realized it cud be fantasy only or else you greets yourself by faith that there...someone can feel it.
How is it to have six sinse so you can see someone far away and hold you in your arms without being notice? Will you find lies there or you meet a smile, can you figure out what behind the tears whats inside the rolling eyes or will you meet someone else by totaly different from you expeceted? No guilt, no memories no feeling and sacrifice is last thing...Somehow should it be your comfortness if you finds the same pain, the hurt, toture and surviving as you have but fortunes only in your side since you invisible but not your given heart. will it makes you happy or tear your sense more?
a friend give me a message once that the best RELATIONSHIP doesnt come when your are together. It comes when you are apart and realized that despite DISTANCE and SILENCE, the relationship SURVIVE...
im not a pesimistics person kind but surrely its sounds great words to say isn it? how about do achieve it? Man...takes lots of bloods to realized do the relationship still there? Im a woman with ways, not just hope and faith...all things must be calculate in prospective plan to gain goals...nor u just leave it behind. Im such careless but aware person in the same time. I prefer away then have to hurt someone else. I know i sud kick my ass as far as i can then i hev to argue with a stuborn donkey...thats why living in uncertain situations kills me more. Holding on a relstionship by missingness and wothout any news the same thing like harakiri for me.
wish you all know what do i feel
miss allot
thats how i fell
Nancy

Tuesday, June 07, 2005